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A Very Dangerous Place to Be

Last year, when I read the story of Stan Brown, I was very tempted to blog about it but the moment passed. It was just another everyday tale of bureaucratic idiocy and if you read too many of them you could lose the will to live. But this week we have the story of Derek Evans, which has reminded me of Stan, so now, in case you missed them, I’m going to tell you both stories.

Stan was married to Violet for 57 years. When she died he visited her grave every day. He left flowers, as did her friends and relations. Violet was evidently a much-loved lady. Then one day Stan found his flowers had been removed. The Weaverham, Cuddington and Acton Bridge cemetery committee had ruled that only one bunch of flowers per grave is now permitted. The reason? The risk of cemetery maintenance personnel tripping over a floral tribute. Obviously. Poor Stan. No-one had warned him that the cemetery was about to employ blind gardeners with size 14 feet.

Meanwhile, in Cannock Chase… Derek Evans, a pensioner with time on his hands and a can-do attitude, has been cutting the grass in the cemetery where his mother is buried. The council don’t have the funds to do it oftener than three times a year and Derek thought, instead of complaining why not do it himself? Well, I’ll tell you why not. You can’t operate a motor mower in a cemetery without public liability insurance. Are you crazy? What if you injure someone?

Derek, who has a sense of humour to match his sense of civic pride, did point out that people in graveyards are mainly beyond filing personal injury suits but the council won’t have it. So there it is. Today’s score, Stan and Derek, nil, Stupidity 2.

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