Compare and Contrast

  Sensible Behaviour 101.   You are a person of mature years. You have   struggled through three days’ worth of snow  in order to buy analgesics. In Store A, a branch of an international chain, let us call it Open-Toed Sandals Ltd., the conversation goes roughly as follows: ‘Good Day, Sales Assistant. I wish to purchase Neurofen…

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Concealed Umbrellas

Sunday night and I’m already in a growly mood at the prospect of going to the airport on Tuesday morning. I hate what we have to go through in the name of non-discriminatory security but I hate even more the fact that I haven’t the guts to fight it. Make a fuss, you won’t be going…

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Nothing Left But the Oink

  I’ve touched on the subject of  pigs before. It’s not that I’m particularly fond of them but I resent the way they get picked on by the uber-touchy PC brigade. That’s why I always wear my enamelled pig pin on my coat when I’m in England. One solicitous friend actually worried about me wearing…

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Verdict Returned

So I finally made the chocolatey-chilli puddingy thing after various setbacks. My kitchen scales croaked and then on my way into the city to buy new scales I fell down the bus stairs and I began to wonder whether God was trying to tell me something. Like ‘No chocolate pudding, Laurie. You don’t need it.…

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Yo Ho Ho

  I was down at the Tesco wine store this  morning looking for a bottle of dark rum. There was a great sucking of teeth. Dark rum? No demand for it these days. He said, ‘Doing a bit of baking are you? Your best bet is Devaney’s, next door to Rody Boland’s.’ Which was precisely…

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