ladylunch1    I heard a week or so ago that The Lady Literary Lunch on September 9th was already fully subscribed. It was an encouraging piece of news  – even if I must clearly share any credit with my two co-speakers, Lesley Pearse and Kate Williams  –  because this will be my only public appearance this year. Literary event organisers, where the heck are you? Was it something I said?

Today I received the running order for the Lady Lunch and was very happy to find that I’m on first, between the starter and the main course. There are pros and cons to any position on a shared platform. If you’re on last the meal passes you by in a fog of nerves, but you have the comfort of knowing that your audience will have sunk half a bottle of wine before you get to your feet. Some of them may even be asleep.

Going first gets it over and done with but your audience is alert. And hungry. Me too. I may have to slip away for a quick banana during the drinks’ reception, lest the rumbling of my stomach drown out my words of wit and wisdom.

So when my 15 minutes is up I’ll be ravenous for the poached salmon and by the time dessert is served I’ll be in state of post-performance mellowness. Bring on the Bendicks Bittermints.

And now the most serious element of any lady novelist’s Lit Lunch preparations must be addressed: earring selection.

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